The Hollywood Reporter Labels Cartoon Characters ‘Inappropriately Sexy’

WARNING: The following opinion piece includes sarcasm and animation nerd nit-picking.

Today’s entry in Voice Actors in the News’ tradition of Frivilous List Friday is a list of “10 Inappropriately Sexy Cartoon Characters” written by Sophie A. Schillaci and Chris Godley for The Hollywood Reporter.

As a lifelong animation fan, a headline like that is naturally going to pique my curiosity. But as a journalist, I cringe when any news media site that should be neutral and objective labels a cartoon character as “inappropriately sexy” when it’s not in the form of a blog entry or op-ed piece. And it’s categorized on THR’s site as a “news article.”

Furthermore, THR contradicts their attention-grabbing teaser headline by saying their list is made up of characters that “tease audiences with cartoon chemistry” as animation’s “most attractive animations.” And that’s also contradictory: “attractive” doesn’t automatically equal “sexy” or “inappropriate,” and in no way does it mean “inappropriately sexy.”

THR’s examples of “inappropriately sexy” include Tinker Bell (Peter Pan), Lola Bunny (Space Jam), Ariel and Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid), Leela (Futurama), Jem (JEM! And the Holograms), Jasmine and Aladdin (Aladdin), Sterling Archer (FX Network’s Archer), Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit), Holli Would (Cool World), and Kitty Softpaws (Puss In Boots).

Whaaaaaaa? Jem is “inappropriately sexy”? Prince Eric? Kitty Softpaws? Yeah, I had the same reaction too: most of the selections are real head-scratchers, and what exactly about these characters does THR find “inappropriately sexy”? Their entry for each character amounts to a couple brief introductory sentences without any real evidence to back up their opinion.

And it’s outrageous that Sterling Archer made their list, but I’ll give them that one. Anything that comes out of Archer’s mouth (by way of H. Jon Benjamin) is rude, insensitive and inappropriate. And fans of the show love him for it. As for him being “inappropriately sexy”? Eh, I don’t see it, but Archer certainly would, and he’d brag about it too.

I’m also old enough to remember The Little Mermaid stirring up controversy and conservative outrage over Ariel’s seashell bikini top and “implied nudity.” (And I put that in quotes because I remember hearing a lady at church actually say that about the film.) There was also that whole brouhaha over the phallic symbol allegedly concealed in the movie poster and video cover art, and the scene with the alleged “excited” priest, but those claims have long-since been proven false.

Tinker Bell has also been blasted by conservative critics as being “sexually suggestive.” But it’s really difficult to imagine that Walt Disney or any of Peter Pan‘s animators deliberately tried to make the character look or act “sexually suggestive.” And it seems sexist and silly to me to even suggest that a feminine, fantasy fairy character in a Disney movie is in any way “sexually suggestive.”

The only two characters in THR’s list that some might consider “inappropriately sexy” are Jessica Rabbit and Holli Would. It’s no secret that Holli was intended to titillate — she’s sheer fanboy fantasy of an animated vixen come to life, and in the form of Kim Basinger, no less! Also, Holli Would’s name is like a mash-up of a Bond girl and a porn star. And the voluptuous Jessica Rabbit — easily the most notoriously and intentionally “sexy” character on the list — is known for her infamous quote, “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.” The way she’s animated — rotoscoped animation over a real live-action performance model — will make any manly man sweat, and not just a chubby, naturally sweaty guy like Bob Hoskins. (FYI: Kathleen Turner was uncredited as the speaking voice of Jessica, and her singing voice was performed by Broadway star Amy Irving. Actress Betsy Brantley stood in as the physical form of Jessica during production.)

But all these characters are only “sexy” or “inappropriate” if the viewer sees them that way. And if a reporter is going to label any of them as “inappropriately sexy,” they should provide some sort of evidence to support their claim.

That said, other animation fans are wondering about the obvious omissions who didn’t make the list, like the classic “pin-up” cartoon characters Betty Boop, Red Hot Riding Hood, and Bugs Bunny in drag. (Did I just type that out loud?)

Or how about Esmerelda (speaking voice by Demi Moore; singing voice by Heidi Mollenhauer) from The Hunchback of Notre Dame with her “smoldering eyes” and stripper-esque dance routine? (Seriously. Watch the movie. She pole-dances with a spear!) This “disgusting display” causes the movie’s villain Frollo to become so consumed with desire for her that he is forced to break into song that she’s “turning him to sin.”

And what about the scantily-clad seductress Chel (voiced by Rosie Perez) from DreamWorks’ animated box office bomb, The Road to El Dorado? For a film marketed as “family-friendly,” it already pushes the envelope with Chel’s overt sexuality and an implied make-out scene. It also originally had a sequence planned involving Chel crawling seductively on all fours that was quickly scrapped during production because it was deemed too sexy for kids.

Or what about the sexy-smart, butt-kicking Baroness from Hasbro’s 80s ‘toon G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero? And she also had an inappropriate workplace romance with the metal-headed Destro… on a kids’ show? (Seriously, those two needed to get a room! Their PDA was NSFW.)

And I would be remiss if I neglected to mention “Six” from Tripping The Rift — a spoofy animated bombshell exaggeration of the “Seven of Nine” Borg character from Star Trek: Voyager, played by Jeri Ryan. And as if the cyborg character (created as a sex slave, mind you) wasn’t already designed with enough sex appeal for frothing fanboys, over the course of 3 seasons she was voiced by celebrities Carmen Electra, Gina Gershon, and Jenny McCarthy.

And then there was Stan Lee’s Stripperella, voiced by Pam Anderson, which was inappropriate on many levels but mainly because it was so bad it should never have been animated to begin with.

And for crying out loud — not a single Anime character made the list? How did that happen?

I also feel compelled to address THR’s neglect in proofreading or fact-checking this piece prior to publication:

– Salma Hayek‘s last name is misspelled as “Hayak.”

– Sole credit is given to Scott Weinger and Linda Larkin as the voices of Aladdin and Jasmine, yet the singing voices were performed by Brad Kane and Lea Salonga.

– And the oft-repeated myth that Disney’s Tinker Bell was modeled after Marilyn Monroe is incorrect. Actress Margaret Kerry actually served as the animation model for the character, and also voiced one of the mermaids in the 1953 feature.

But I digress.

So was there a point to this nerdraging rant besides calling THR out for poor journalism? Not really. And it’s particularly pointless since THR’s feature was originally published on October 28, 2011. So yeah, I’m doing an op-ed piece three months after the fact, and I didn’t notice that until just now. I guess that makes this article… ironically… inappropriate.

But these are the things that keep nerds lying awake at night, when we should be sleeping with visions of inappropriately sexy cartoon characters dancing in our heads.

~ Craig Crumpton
Publisher/Chief Editor, Voice Actors in the News